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I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
The only time I use the word “selfie” is when I am describing my sex life.
Just found out that I’m 53 Cheetos tall.
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Sleep is my drug, the bed my dealer, the alarm clock the police.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.