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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)