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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Please do not read this.
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
Iām back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?