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I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters on poles.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!