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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
Based on how many times I`ve dropped my phone, I`m gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?