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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.