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At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
Wife says to her husband, "You wanna change positions tonight?" He says, "Yeah!" she says, "OK, you do the dishes and I will sit on the couch and fart."
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it