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My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I saw a cool bumper sticker on a back of a SUV . . . “Do you follow Jesus this close?”
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.