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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?