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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?