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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.