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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
lol I rotfl
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.