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No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
The speed in which a woman says “nothing” when asked “what’s wrong” is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh!tstorm that’s coming.
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.