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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying
You see I, IΒ΄ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakinΒ΄ our backs everyday. If wantinΒ΄ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, hereΒ΄s to you
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.