Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.