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Me, watching the Olympics: "That was impressive." Announcer: "ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.