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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.