Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.