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I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very chuck e cheese.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.