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When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
I hope Iām the last guy on earth ā I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
My body needs a refresh button.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.