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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
When people ask me what I`m going to be on Halloween, the answer is always the same: really drunk
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.