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I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
I say the things better left unsaid.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke