Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
My wife says "YOU`RE DRUNK!" like it is a bad thing.
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.