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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right
One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.