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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!