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Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
You look like I need another drink
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Home is where the pants aren’t.