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I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
I imagine some people are like...: `should I take the shower?...no...I`m taking the train today...`
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards