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I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.