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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
A friend of mine asked what it`s like to raise a small toddler so I coughed directly in his mouth
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
Velcro is a ripoff
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.