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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
I hide my vodka in orange juice
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.