Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
When I`m bored, I send a text to a random number saying, " I hid the body, now what?"