Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.