Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
I drink coffee for your protection.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?