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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
There`s an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn`t just hard, it`s impossible.
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
I am used but in good condition.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)