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When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Feeling pretty good about myself today so I`m going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.