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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.