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Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.