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There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
My tricks aren`t for kids.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that Iād have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..