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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy.
It`s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
Strange new trend at work. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Yesterday I ate a tuna sandwich named Jennifer.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but Iām trying to be proactive.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....