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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
I`m no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...