Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.