Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.