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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right!
Being human is expensive and exhausting.