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Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.