Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
"May the 4th" be with you!
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
It was all so different before everything changed.
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.