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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she`s pregnant.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.