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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."