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I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Honestly, it`s not the way I look that reveals my age. It`s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
I liked you better before we met.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
It should really be called teethpaste.
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…