Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone