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Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and that`s where I sleep.
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".