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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
Mondays are middle finger approved
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....