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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.