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If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for bad hunter.
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.