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The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
When they say: "Wow, you`re really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
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Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet