Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.